My story. Actually, Pearl's story.

I have a story to tell.

A story about my sweet baby girl,

Pearl Standifird.

1 lb. 9 oz., 12 inches long.

Tiny and Perfect.

She was born on September 6, 2013.

She died September 9, 2013

She changed us forever.

My story may take some time to tell.

There are a lot of feelings in this story.

Sometimes there aren't words.

But I don't want to ever forget.

And I want to share what I learned.

What I felt.

Because Pearl changed me.

Actually, a loving Heavenly Father changed me.

Through Pearl.

Here is her story.

This picture was taken very soon after Pearl was born.  It is one of my favorites.

She ended up getting very swollen from all the fluid they had to pump into her. 

I love that we have this picture from before her tiny body endured so much trauma.

Pearl's fight began long before she made her entrance into the world.  Her fight started almost ten weeks earlier when I had a partial placenta abruption, 15 weeks into the pregnancy.  I was bleeding heavily and put on bed rest for three weeks.  After the three weeks everything looked ok and I was taken off bed rest.

My freedom didn't last long.

One week later, 19 weeks pregnant, I started bleeding heavily again and was admitted to the hospital for a 9 day stay, after which I was reluctantly allowed to go home.  Again I was on strict bed rest and had to have an adult with me 24/7, in case my  continual bleeding worsened and I started hemmoraging.  It was during this time at home that my water broke at about 21 weeks gestation. It was discovered at an ultrasound soon after that there was virtually no amniotic fluid in my uterus.  Babies need amniotic fluid to develop their lungs, among many other important benefits.  I was admitted back into the hospital, 22 weeks 4 days along, where I stayed for 2 1/2 weeks until after Pearl's birth. 

On the night of September 5th, I started contracting every couple  of minutes and Pearl's heart rate was drastically dropping with each contraction.  The two nights prior to this, a similar scenario had unfolded, yet the nurses and doctors were able to slow down the contractions by hydrating me through IV's and giving me a shot of morphine to relax my body.  However, the night of the 5th, my contractions would not subside.  After a couple of hours, the decision was made to get Pearl out. She was born via emergency c-section at 2:42 a.m. Friday, September 6th, at 24 weeks, 4 days gestation.  She had a rough go from the beginning, in part to her tiny lungs that did not have the time or the means to develop properly.  Yet, she was a fighter. The NICU doctors told us over and over that she was a sick, sick baby, and yet she was so determined to hang on.

She fought hard for three days, allowing her mom and dad, sisters and brother, and many others to get to know and love her.  She was perfect, apparently in every way, and I truly believe those three days were her gift to us.  Her gift and a gift from a loving Heavenly Father who was with us every step of the way. 

 Take a look at your own hand, then notice how tiny Pearl was.  That is Kyle's hand.

 The amazing doctors and nurses worked tirelessly to help Pearl, and she was a fighter.  

As seen in this picture, she was surrounded by medical paraphernalia and always had a 

nurse or doctor or respiratory therapist, or all of the above by her side.

This post describes some of the events that happened during our journey with Pearl, but over the next several days, weeks, and months, I hope to put into words some of the feelings and the lessons learned.  It was a long, hard road but worth every step.